Questions asked on the Rurouni Kenshin Resource mailing list. Most replies are from Tatsuko or Jan Story; a few are from other people.
Q. What is a customary bridal gift in Japan? Or, to be more precise: Would a kimono be OK or is it too extravagant? How 'bout a blanket or an embroidered piece of cloth? And mayhap ideas on how to make them...?
A: Bridal gifts? Do you mean gifts the guests give to a bridal couple, or gifts the newlyweds exchange? Of the former, I have no idea. I ran across something online the other day that giving wedding gifts as we do is actually considered rude in Japan; the proper gift to a new couple is money, appropriately wrapped. (One Victorian writer dubbed Japan the Land of Topsy-Turvy-Dom and in some ways that's still true.) That information is modern, however, and I don't have the faintest idea what the practice was during early Meiji.
As for spousal gifts, there were traditional things the groom gave the bride (or more accurately, the bride's family). This varied with the family's wealth, and I don't remember what it was in any case. One of the Victorians, A. B. Mitford, had a description of a wedding that was much more elaborate than anything Kenshin & co. are likely to be able to afford. I think the book was called Tales of Old Japan Vol. II and it was published in 1871. Unfortunately I don't own this one; I read it almost 3 years ago, before I ever heard of Kenshin, and wasn't that interested in the wedding description -- I remember reading it but my notes don't include anything about it.
About wedding gifts, I have 2 agree wit' Jan about the money. I know in Chinese culture, wedding guests usually give the newlyweds money by sticking it in the dancing Dragon's mouth. During the banquet, a Dragon's dance is performed ( like Chinese New Year ) 2 bring good luck. Guests put money in the little red, decorated envelopes & stick it in the mouth when the dragon passes by. Since Japanese culture is somewhat similar 2 Chinese culture, that's what I would assume. I think a Kimono would b considered improper.
CheebiMoon
Q. OK, in Meiji Japan, when a guy asks a girl to marry him, is there anything he would give her (that would have some of the same sort of symbolism as a wedding ring)? Arigatou.
A. I asked my dad & he told me that in Japan (back in the day) Men were regarded highly so out of respect & honor he'd ask the parents 1st (usually the father with the mother present, but barely saying a word) then if they consented he would just ask the girl nicely. No gifts. & the women didn't have a choice they had 2 say yes. Most of the time the marriages were arranged by the parents, so girls would just get married, no protests.
CheebiMoon
Q. What does the bride and groom traditionally wear at their wedding?
A. (I think this is the most frequently asked clothing question.) The man would be dressed very formally, kimono and hakama, haori, etc. Introduction to Japanese Garb is a really good site on male garb, though the period covered is somewhat earlier than Meiji; I don't think formal male attire changed all that much. Red is the traditional lucky color for bridal attire in Japan as well as China, though I think white kimonos woven with patterns, especially things associated with longevity and domestic happiness like cranes and pines, were worn under a red overgarment whose name I forget. There's a white head covering as well.
I'm not sure what the groom would wear, but the bride would wear either a white or red kimono (depends on who you ask), possibly decorated with cranes or flowers. The bride would change for the party afterwards, into a different kimono that is usually pretty colorful.
The actual wedding kimono is kinda different from the ordinary ones. As Tatsuko-san said, there's the red kimono but then there's an outer layer which looks like a bathrobe without the tie. That article is the most important and wealthy families treat that robe as a precious heirloom. Brides are required to wear some type of head dress to cover their *ugly horns of jealousy*. After that, they are supposed to carry a small folding fan.
As for the groom, he would be wearing the traditional haori and hakama. Usually, the colours are rather dull such as gray, brown and black.
Siew Lee
Q. At weddings, did people throw stuff at the newly wed couple like flower petals, rice, etc.?
A. I don't think so.
Q. Where would a wedding be held?
A. I think they used to be held in the bride's home. Sometime during Meiji weddings in Shinto shrines became popular.
I was wrong here. The usual pattern was for the bride to be brought to the groom's home; the ceremony took place there (unless the man were marrying into the girl's family; the references I saw do not give the exact ritual for that).
Q. Let's say that there's a guy and a girl who both lost their parents so their parents' can't arrange a marriage. How would the guy propose to the girl? (trying to avoid the western tradition)
A. Given the system of extended family, it would be very unusual for a person to have NO older male relatives. Usually the "family" would be a branch of a very extended kinship network, and there would be someone up the chain somewhere who could take responsibility, particularly for an orphaned girl. (Though if you're talking about Kenshin, because of his unusual background he is almost completely outside the traditional social structures, and there's no evidence Kaoru has any other family either.) In the case of samurai, a lord would have responsibilities to the families of samurai who had fallen in his service. (Though in Kaoru's case, the fact that her grandfather as well as her father taught kenjutsu says to me that they were ronin; many ronin found similar employment.) The formalized customs of the samurai might not necessarily apply in this situation; they would probably be greatly influenced by the much freer practices of townspeople.
Q. I know many marriages were arranged during that time, but if a person wanted to propose to a particular person, how we he go about it? Would he do it himself, or would it be through a go-between? Also, (if it's unusual) *could* he still propose himself?
A. The Meiji was a bit of a strange era for marriages... A mix of old and new. While some marriages were still done the traditional way (arranged, with a "miai" and such) there were also some that were done in a more Western manner. If a person wanted to go the "untraditional" route and propose to someone (as opposed to it being arranged), I'd assume he could (and would) do it himself. ^_^
In rural villages, older forms of marriage still survived in the peasant culture. Young people basically chose their own partners. If a young man wanted to marry a girl, he would begin coming to her house at night and staying with her. After doing this for several nights (this is very similar to the practice of the Heian court where the man would leave at dawn following the first two nights he spent with his lady; his remaining on the third morning meant they were married) he then formally "met" her parents. If the parents approved of him, sake was drunk, gifts were exchanged, and the couple was married. However, they did not live together as husband and wife until his parents died or retired from active headship of the family. The man continued to spend his nights at the woman's house for several months or even years, during which time he was spoken of as "working for" the bride's family. When his parents retired and left him as head of his household, he would take his bride home – they might have 2-3 children by then.
Q. In addition to the question above, how would the woman's reply be given to the man?
A. Most likely, she would say herself...
Q. Was a party, reception, etc. held after the wedding ceremony? If no, was there some sort of celebration for the couple at all around that time?
A. Yup. ^__^ Much partying and feasting. (The above-mentioned 10-volume set of books said something along the lines of "friends and neighbors would almost invite themselves, until almost the whole neighborhood was partying" ^_^v )
Q. Would it be suitable for a young woman to wear a long-sleeved kimono (I don't know what it's called - it's like the one Kamatari wears) to a wedding (as a guest)? Or is that too formal?
A. I think it would be appropriate...
Q. Would men generally wear a yukata and hakama to a wedding as a guest, or would they wear an overcoat as well (sorry, i don't know the name for that either)?
A. He wouldn't wear yukata. He'd probably wear a kimono top (that would be similar in length to Kenshin's top) and hakama. By overcoat, do you mean a haori? If that's what you mean, then yes, he would wear that too.
If you're wondering about the bride, she would be dressed in a white kimono for the ceremony, then change to a colorful kimono for the reception. ^_^
Q. What colors are suitable for guests to wear - for example, is peach alright for a woman? Is dark blue/gray alright for a man?
A. These would be fine. ^_^
Q. What is the appropriate time span between engagement and marriage?
A. I have no clue. ^_^v I'd assume it would be up to the individuals...
For those interested, here's a site I found:
http://web-japan.org/nipponia/nipponia9/sp01.html
It's more on modern marriage, but if you go to this section:
http://web-japan.org/nipponia/nipponia9/sp04.html
It gives a little bit about marriage in Meiji and after. It confirms that during Kenshin's time, two kinds
of marriage arranged, and for love) existed side-by-side. Interestingly enough it says that during
Kenshin's time, the higher class people were more likely to have arranged marriages while peasants were
more likely to marry for love. (Kinda makes sense...) But after the beginning of Meiji, arranged marriages
spread through all classes... Hmm...
More wedding links:
http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2061.html
http://mothra.rerf.or.jp/ENG/Hiroshima/Things/81.html gives history with miai, traditional betrothal gifts, and modern practices.
http://www.threeweb.ad.jp/~mciccone/marie3e.htm is the kimono section of a wedding-dress designer's site.
V. Lindsay turned up http://mothra.rerf.or.jp/ENG/Hiroshima/Things/81.html, another nice look at contemporary weddings that includes a list of traditional gifts, and Asiarecipe.com’s page on Japanese wedding etiquette.
This is from a book called Things Japanese by Mock Joya (Tokyo News Service, 1958)
"The Japanese wedding ceremony is called yomeiri, or 'bringing the bride into the family of the bridegroom.' The ceremony always used to be held at night, but the practice of having it performed in the afternoon or even in the morning has become common in large cities. The ceremony has no religious significance in Japan, but of late years it is often held at Shinto shrines or before the tablets of the family members.
"The bride-to-be is brought to the house of the bridegroom by her parents and the 'go-between' couple who originally arranged the marriage. She wears the bridal costume and a still white band called tsumo-kakushi (horn-cover) on her head, because it is believed that all women have horns of jealousy, which must be hidden under the band at the wedding. However, the ornate bridal costume and the traditional method of hairdressings are not always used in the cities nowadays, for the Western costume has taken their place in many cases.
"In the room where the ceremony is held, the bride is seated, facing the bridegroom. Only the parents of the bride and the bridegroom, the 'go-between' couple, and little serving girls are present. When all is ready, a set of three sake cups is brought before the bride. She takes the upper cup, and one of the girls fills it with sake in three pouring motions. She drinks this in three sips. Then the same cup is taken to the bridegroom and filled. He drinks the sake in the same manner. The second cup is offered first to the bridegroom and then to the bride. The bride drinks first from the last cup and then the bridegroom. Since the three cups are filled three times each, and the sake is drunk each time in three sips, the marriage ceremony is called san-san-kudo (three, three, nine times).
"The san-san-kudo is the main feature of the Japanese wedding ceremony, and by this little rite the marriage is solemnized.
"The wedding banquet to which the friends and relatives are invited is held immediately after the ceremony of san-san-kudo. The bride usually changes into another bridal costume when this part of the ceremony is held.
"The ceremony of binding the two families together also consists of drinking sake. The members of the two families sit in rows, facing each other, with the head of each family sitting at the top of each row, with his wife next him. The bridal couple are last in line. First the father of the young man takes a sip of sake. The same cup is handed to the bride, finally going to the mother of the bridegroom. The second cup starts with the father of the bride, goes to the bridegroom, and ends with the mother of the bride. The last cup begins with the father of the bride, goes to the father of the bridegroom, the bride's mother, the groom's mother, the bride and the bridegroom. This ends the fomal introduction of the members of the two families to each other.
"Formerly there were no honeymoons in Japan. The custom of going on a trip after the marriage was introduced here very recently. What was observed in place of a honeymoon was sato-gaeri (returning to the bride's former home), and this custom is still generally followed throughout the country. Even when honeymoon trips are made, sato-gaeri is one of the first pleasant duties of the young married couple.
"The day after the happy event is spent in feasting, according to the old custom, and, on the second day, the bride goes with her husband to the homes of his relatives and friends to be formally introduced, while guests are also invited to the house to meet the bride.
"On the third day, sato-gaeri takes place, when the bride visits her own family. She is escorted by members of her husband's family to her former home. Formerly the husband did not accompany her on this visit, but went on the fourth day after the wedding, or the second day of the bride's sato-gaeri, but now they make the trip together. He usually takes with him presents for all the members of her immediate family and in some cases also for other relatives in return for those which the bride brought to his relatives.
"With the arrival of the husband, another ceremonial feast is given to introduce him to the relatives of the bride's family. He is also taken to the homes of relatives and friends. The husband spends a night with the wife's family, and then the following morning they go home together. In the olden days, it was customary for the husband to give his wife a special kimono to wear on her sato-gaeri visit. All other costumes are provided by her family, but the one she wears on her sato-gaeri visit is a present from her husband."
This one is from another Things Japanese, this the original by Basil Hall Chamberlain (a 1930 reprint; I think the original is from 1904):
"In everything relating to marriage, the difference between East and West is still very strongly marked. Marriage among the Japanese is less of a personal and more of a family affair than it is in Western lands. Religion has no say in the matter, and the law regards it from a different point of view. An Englishman chooses his wife himself; but the English law, though perfectly neutral during this initial stage of the proceedings, steps in as soon as the knot is tied and imperiously forbids its severance except in case of gross misconduct by one of the parties. Japanese marriages, on the contrary, are arranged by the two families, and the step is less solemn and not irrevocable, Japanese law remaining as neutral at the end as at the beginning. For, though marriage is a legal contract while it lasts, it may, like other contracts, be terminated by the joint request and consent of the contracting parties.
"The way things are managed is this. When their child -- whether boy or girl -- has reached a marriageable age, the duty of the parents is to secure a suitable partner. Custom, however, rules that the conduct of the affair must be entrusted to a middleman (nakoudo) -- some discreet married friend, who not only negotiates the marriage, but remains through life a sort of godfather to the young couple, a referee to whom disputes and even arrangements for divorce may be submitted for arbitration. Having fixed on an eligible parti, the middleman arranges for what is termed the mi-ai, literally, the 'mutual seeing' -- a meeting at which the lovers (if persons unknown to each other may be so styled) are allowed to see, sometimes even to speak to each other, and thus estimate each other's merits. In strict etiquette, however, the interview should take place either at the middleman's own residence, or at some other private house designated by the parents on both sides. But among the middle and lower classes, a picnic, a party to the theatre, or a visit to a temple often serves the purpose. If the man objects to the girl or the girl to the man after the 'mutual seeing,' there is an end of the matter, in theory at least. But in practice the young people are in the parents' hands, to do as their parents may ordain. The girl, in particular, is a nobody in the matter. It is not for girls to have opinions.
"If both parties are satisfied with what they have seen of each other, gifts consisting of clothes, or of money to purchase clothes, and of certain kinds of fish and edible seaweed, are exchanged between them. This exchange of presents is called yuinou. It corresponds to betrothal and is binding -- if not in actual law, at any rate in custom. The presence once exchanged, neither party can draw back. A lucky day is then chosen for the wedding. When it comes, the bride, dressed all in white, the color of mourning -- to signify that she dies to her own family, and that she will never leave her husband's house but as a corpse -- is borne away at nightfall to her new home, escorted by the middleman and his wife. The parental home is swept out on her departure, and in former days a bonfire was lighted in the gate -- ceremonial indication of the purification necessary after the removal of a dead body.
"The wedding, which takes place immediately on the bride's arrival at the house of her husban's parents, is of the nature of a dinner-party. The distinguishing feature of it is what is termed the san-san ku-do, that is, literally, 'three three, nine times' because the bridegroom and the bride drink three times out of each of three wine-cups of different sizes, making nine times in all, -- or rather they do not drink, but only lift the cup to their lips. Another essential part of the ceremony is the changing of her garments. The bride, on reaching her new home, changes her white dress for one given to her by her husband. But immediately after the ceremonial drinking-bout, and while the guests are stil assembled at the feast, she retires and puts on a coloured dress brought with her from her parents' house. The bridegroom changes his dress at the same time in another apartment. At the conclusion of the feast, the newly married couple are led into the bridal chamber by the middleman and his wife, whereupon they pledge each other in nine more cups of wine. It is significant that the husband, as lord and master, now drinks first. At the earlier stage of the proceedings the bride drank first, in her quality of a guest. Thus ends the wedding ceremony.
"A few days later -- strictly speaking it should be on the third day -- a visit is paid by the couple to the bride's parents. This is termed her sato-gaeri, or 'return home.' On this occasion, she wears a dress presented to her by her husband or his family. Meantime the necessary notice has been given to the authorities, which is the only legal form to be observed. It consists in a request to the district office by the head of the family to which the girl formerly belonged, that her registration may be transferred to the office within whose jurisdiction her husband, or the head of her husband's family, if the husband himself be not a householder, has his domicile. An official intimation of the transfer follows this request, and all is then in order.
"The above is the usual form of marriage. In some cases, however, the bridegroom is adopted into the bride's family, instead of the bride into the bridegroom's. This takes place mostly when a parent has only a daughter or daughters, but no son. In order to preserve the family intact -- due regard being had to the circumstance that no female can be its legal head -- it is then necessary to adopt a son-in-law, who, literally becoming a son in the eyes of the law, drops his own surname and takes that of his wife. None but poor men are generally willing to place themselves in such a false position."
Here's the Mitford! Tales of Old Japan, Volume 2 – and thanks much to Luriko-Ysabeth for scanning it!
(From the "Sho-rei Hikki" – Record of Ceremonies)
The ceremonies observed at marriage are various, and it is not right for a man, exceeding the bounds of his condition in life, to transgress against the rules which are laid down. When the middle-man has arranged the preliminiaries of the marriage between the two parties, he carries the complimentary present, which is made at the time of betrothal, from the future bridegroom to his destined bride; and if this present is accepted, the lady's family can no longer retract their promise. This is the beginning of the contract. The usual betrothal presents are as follows. Persons of the higher classes send a robe of white silk stuff; a piece of gold embroidery for a girdle; a piece of white silk, with a lozenge pattern, and other silk stuffs (these are made up into a pile of two layers); ten barrels of wine, and five sorts of condiments. The lower classes send a robe of white silk, a robe of coloured silk, in a pile of one layer, together with six barrels of wine and three sorts of condiments. To the future father-in-law is sent a sword, with a scabbard for slinging, such as is worn in wartime, together with a list of the presents; to the mother-in-law, a silk robe, with wine and condiments. Although all these presents are right and proper for the occasion, still they must be regulated according to the means of the persons concerned. The future father-in-law sends a present of equal value in return to his son-in-law, but the bride elect sends no return present to her future husband; the present from the father-in-law must by no means be omitted, but according to his position, if he be poor, he need only send wine and condiments.
In sending the presents care must be taken not to fold the silk robe. The two silk robes that are sent on the marriage night must be placed with the collars stitched together in a peculiar fashion.
The ceremonies of sending the litter to fetch the bride on the wedding night are as follows. In families of good position, one of the principal retainers on either side is deputed to accompany the bride and to receive her. Matting is spread before the entrance-door, upon which the bride's litter is placed, while the two principal retainers congratulate one another, and the officers of the bridegroom receive the litter. If a bucket containing clams, to make the wedding-broth, has been sent with the bride, it is carried and received by a person of distinction. Close by the entrance-door a fire is lighted on the right hand and on the left. These fires are called garden-torches. In front of the corridor along which the litter passes, on the right hand and on the left, two men and two women, in pairs, place two mortars, right and left, in which they pound rice; as the litter passes, the pounded rice from the left-hand side is moved across to the right, and the two are mixed together into one. This is called the blending of the rice-meal.1 Two candles are lighted, the one on the right hand and the other on the left of the corridor; and after the litter has passed, the candle on the left is passed over to the right, and, the two wicks being brought together, the candles are extinguished. These last three ceremonies are only performed at the weddings of persons of high rank; they are not observed at the weddings of ordinary persons. The bride takes with her to her husband's house, as presents, two silken robes sewed together in a peculiar manner, a dress of ceremony with wings of hempen cloth, an upper girdle and an under girdle, a fan, either five or seven pocket-books, and a sword: these seven presents are placed on a long tray, and their value must depend upon the means of the family.
The dress of the bride is a white silk robe with a lozenge pattern, over an under-robe, also of white silk. Over her head she wears a veil of white silk, which, when she sits down, she allows to fall about her as a mantle.
The bride's furniture and effects are all arranged for her by female attendants from her own house on a day previous to the wedding; and the bridegroom's effects are in like manner arranged by the women of his own house.
When the bride meets her husband in the room where the relations are assembled, she takes her seat for this once in the place of honour, her husband sitting in a lower place, not directly opposite to her, but diagonally, and discreetly avoiding her glance.
On the raised part of the floor are laid out beforehand two trays, the preparations for a feast, a table on which are two wagtails,2 a second table with a representation of Elysium, fowls, fish, two wine-bottles, three wine-cups, and two sorts of kettles for warming wine. The ladies go out to meet the bride, and invite her into a dressing-room, and, when she has smoothed her dress, bring her into the room, and she and the bridegroom take their seats in the places appointed for them. The two trays are then brought out, and the ladies-in-waiting, with complimentary speeches, hand dried fish and seaweed, such as accompany presents, and dried chestnuts to the couple. Two married ladies then each take one of the wine-bottles which have been prepared, and place them in the lower part of the room. Then two handmaids, who act as wine-pourers, bring the kettles and place them in the lower part of the room. The two wine-bottles have respectively a male and female butterfly, made of paper, attached to them. The female butterfly is laid on its back, and the wine is poured from the bottle into the kettle. The male butterfly is then taken and laid on the female butterfly, and the wine from the bottle is poured into the same kettle, and the whole is transferred with due ceremony to another kettle of different shape, which the wine-pourers place in front of themselves. Little low dining-tables are laid, one for each person, before the bride and bridegroom, and before the bride's ladies-in-waiting; the woman deputed to pour the wine takes the three wine-cups and places them one on top of the other before the bridegroom, who drinks two cups3 from the upper cup, and pours a little wine from the full kettle into the empty kettle. The pouring together of the wine on the wedding night is symbolical of the union being contracted. The bridegroom next pours out a third cup of wine and drinks it, and the cup is carried by the ladies to the bride, who drinks three cups, and pours a little wine from one kettle into the other, as the bridegroom did. A cup is then set down and put on the other two, and they are carried back to the raised floor and arranged as before. After this, condiments are set out on the right-hand side of a little table, and the wine-pourers place the three cups before the bride, who drinks three cups from the second cup, which is passed to the bridegroom; he also drinks three cups as before, and the cups are piled up and arranged in their original place by the wine-pourers. A different sort of condiment is next served on the left-hand side; and the three cups are again placed before the bridegroom, who drinks three cups from the third cup, and the bride does the same. When the cups and tables have been put back in their places, the bridegroom, rising from his seat, rests himself for a while. During this time soup of fishes' fins and wine are served to the bride's ladies-in-waiting and to the serving-women. They are served with a single wine-cup of earthenware, placed upon a small square tray, and this again is set upon a long tray, and a wine-kettle with all sorts of condiments is brought from the kitchen. When this part of the feast is over, the room is put in order, and the bride and bridegroom take their seats again. Soups and a preparation of rice are now served, and two earthenware cups, gilt and silvered, are placed on a tray, on which there is a representation of the island of Takasago.4 This time butterflies of gold and silver paper are attached to the wine-kettles. The bridegroom drinks a cup or two, and the ladies-in-waiting offer more condiments to the couple. Rice, with hot water poured over it, according to custom, and carp soup are brought in, and the wine having been heated, cups of lacquer ware are produced; and it is at this time that the feast commences. (Up to now the eating and drinking has been merely a form.) Twelve plates of sweetmeats and tea are served; and the dinner consists of three courses, one course of seven dishes, one of five dishes, and one of three dishes, or else two courses of five dishes and one of three dishes, according to the means of the family. The above ceremonies are those which are proper only for families of the highest rank, and are by no means fitting for the lower classes, who may not step out of the proper bounds of their position.
There is a popular tradition that, in the ceremony of drinking wine on the wedding night, the bride should drink first, and then hand the cup to the bridegroom; but although there are some authorities upon ceremonies who are in favour of this course, it is undoubtedly a very great mistake. In the "Record of Rites," by Confucius, it is written, "The man stands in importance before the woman: it is the right of the strong over the weak. Heaven ranks before earth; the prince ranks before his minister. This law of honour is one." Again, in the "Book of History," by Confucius, it is written, "The hen that crows in the morning brings misfortune." In our own literature in the Jusho (Book of the Gods), "When the goddesses saw the gods for the first time, they were the first to cry out, 'Oh, what beautiful males!' But the gods were greatly displeased, and said, 'We, who are so strong and powerful, should by rights have been the first to speak; how is it that, on the contrary, these females speak first? This is indeed vulgar.' Again it is written, "When the gods brought forth the cripple Hiruko, the Lord of Heaven, answering, said that his misfortune was a punishment upon the goddesses who had presumed to speak first. The same rule therefore exists in China and in Japan, and it is held to be unlucky that the wife should take precedence: with this warning people should be careful how they commit a breach of etiquette, although it may be sanctioned by the vulgar.
At the weddings of the lower classes, the bride and her ladies and friends have a feast, but the bridegroom has no feast; and when the bride’s feast is over, the bridegroom is called in and presented with the bride’s wine-cup; but as the forms observed are very vulgar, it is not worth while to point out the rules which guide them. As this night is essentially of importance to the married couple only, there are some writers on ceremonies who have laid down that no feast need be prepared for the bride’s ladies, and in my opinion they are right: for the husband and wife at the beginning of their intercourse to be separated, and for the bride alone to be feasted like an ordinary guest, appears to be an inauspicious opening. I have thus pointed out two ill-omened customs which are to be avoided.
The ceremonies observed at the weddings of persons of ordinary rank are as follows:– The feast which is prepared is in proportion to the means of the individuals. There must be three wine-cups set out upon a tray. The ceremony of drinking wine three times is gone through, as described above, after which the bride changes her dress, and a feast of three courses is produced – two courses of five dishes and one of three dishes, or one course of five dishes, one of three, and one of two, according to the means of the family. A tray, with a representation of the island of Takasago, is brought out, and the wine is heated; sweetmeats of five or seven sorts are also served in boxes or trays; and when the tea comes in, the bridegroom gets up, and goes to rest himself. If the wine-kettles are of tin, they must not be set out in the room: they must be brought in from the kitchen, and in that case the paper butterflies are not attached to them.
In old times the bride and groom used to change their dress three or five times during the ceremony; but at the present time, after the nine cups of wine have been drunk, in the manner recorded above, the change of dress takes place once. The bride puts on the silk robe which she has received from the bridegroom, while he dons the dress of ceremony which has been brought by the bride.
When these ceremonies have been observed, the bride’s ladies conduct her to the apartments of her parents-in-law. The bride carries with her silk robes, as presents for her parents and brothers and sisters-in-law. A tray is brought out with three wine-cups, which are set before the parents-in-law and the bride. The father-in-law drinks three cups and hands the cup to the bride, who, after she has drunk two cups, receives a present from her father-in-law; she then drinks a third cup, and returns the cup to her father-in-law, who again drinks three cups. Fish is then brought in, and, in the houses of ordinary persons, a preparation of rice. Upon this the mother-in-law, taking the second cup, drinks three cups and passes the cup to the bride, who drinks two cups and receives a present from her mother-in-law; she then drinks a third cup and gives back the cup to the mother-in-law, who drinks three cups again. Condiments are served, and in ordinary houses, soup; after which the bride drinks once from the third cup and hands it to her father-in-law, who drinks thrice from it; the bride again drinks twice from it, and after her the mother-in-law drinks thrice. The parents-in-law and the bride have thus drunk in all nine times. If there are any brothers or sisters-in-law, soup and condiments are served, and a single porcelain wine-cup is placed before them on a tray, and they drink at the word of command of the father-in-law. It is not indispensable that soup should be served upon this occasion. If the parents of the bridegroom are dead, instead of the above ceremony, he leads his bride to make her obeisances before the tablets on which their names are inscribed.
In old days, after the ceremonies recorded above had been gone through, the bridegroom used to pay a visit of ceremony to the bride’s parents; but at the present time the visit is paid before the wedding, and although the forms observed on the occasion resemble those of the ancient times, still they are different, and it would be well that we should resume the old fashion. The two trays which had been used at the wedding feast, loaded with fowl and fish and condiments neatly arranged, used to be put into a long box and sent to the father-in-law’s house. Five hundred and eighty cakes of rice, in lacquer boxes were also sent. The modern practice of sending the rice cakes in a bucket is quite contrary to etiquette: no matter how many lacquer boxes may be required for the purpose, they are the proper utensils for sending the cakes in. Three, five, seven, or ten men’s loads of presents, according to the means of the family, are also offered. The son-in-law gives a sword and a silk robe to his father-in-law, and a silk robe to his mother-in-law, and also gives presents to his brothers and sister-in-law. (The ceremony of drinking wine is the same as that which takes place between the bride and her parents-in-law, with a very slight deviation: the bridegroom receives no presents from his mother-in-law, and when the third cup is drunk the son-in-law drinks before the father-in-law.) A return visit is paid by the bride's parents to the bridegroom, at which similar forms are observed.
At the weddings of the great, the bridal chamber is composed of three rooms thrown into one,5 and newly decorated. If there are only two rooms available, a third room is built for the occasion. The presents, which have been mentioned above, are set out on two trays. Besides these, the bridegroom’s clothes are hung up upon clothes-racks. The mattress and bedclothes are placed in a closet. The bride’s effects must all be arranged by the women who are sent on a previous day for the purpose, or it may be done whilst the bride is changing her clothes. The shrine for the image of the family god is placed on a shelf adjoining the sleeping-place. There is a proper place for the various articles of furniture. The kaioké6 is placed on the raised floor; but if there be no raised floor, it is placed in a closet with the door open, so that it may be conspicuously seen. The books are arranged on a book-shelf or on a cabinet; if there be neither shelf nor cabinet, they are placed on the raised floor. The bride’s clothes are set out upon a clothes-rack: in families of high rank, seven robes are hung up on the rack; five of these are taken away and replaced by others, and again three are taken away and replaced by others; and there are either two or three clothes-racks: the towel-rack is set up in a place of more honour than the clothes-racks. If there is no dressing-room, the bride’s bedclothes and dressing-furniture are placed in the sleeping-room. No screens are put up on the bridal night, but a fitting place is chosen for them on the following day. All these ceremonies must be in proportion to the means of the family.
1. Cf. Gibbon on Roman Marriages, “Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,” vol. iv p. 345: “The contracting parties were seated on the same sheepskin; they tasted a salt cake of far, or rice; and this confarreation, which denoted the ancient food of Italy, served as an emblem of their mystic union of mind and body.”
2. The god who created Japan is called Kunitokodachi no Mikoto. Seven generations of gods after his time existed Izanagi no Mikoto and Izanami no Mikoto – the first a god, the second a goddess. As these two divine beings were standing upon the floating bridge of heaven, two wagtails came; and the gods, watching the amorous dalliance of the two birds, invented the art of love. From their union thus inaugurated sprang the mountains, the rivers, the grass, the trees, the remainder of the gods, and mankind. Another fable is, that as the two gods were standing on the floating bridge of heaven, Izanagi no Mikoto, taking the heavenly jewelled spear, stirred up the sea, and the drops which fell from the point of it congealed and became an island, which was called Onokoro-jima, on which the two gods, descending from heaven, took up their abode.
3. Each cup contains but a sip.
4. In the island of Takasugo, in the province of Harima, stands a pine-tree, called the "pine of mutual old age." At the root, the tree is single, but towards the center it springs into two stems – an old, old pine, models of which are used at weddings as a symbol that the happy pair shall reach old age together. Its evergreen leaves are an emblem of the unchanging constancy of the heart. Figures of an old man and woman under the tree are the spirits of the old pine.
5. The partitions of a Japanese suite of apartments being merely composed of paper sliding-screens, any number of rooms, according to the size of the house, can be thrown into one at a moment’s notice.
6. A kaioké is a kind of lacquer basin for washing the hands and face.