Hi! I’m Kaoru Kamiya! I came to the kingdom of Furinkan seeking an ancient book of magical techniques. But once we got there we got involved in a plot. It seems that the princess of Seyruun, our old friend Misao, was taken hostage! On top of that, the king of Furinkan had hired Aoshi Shinomori to be his bodyguard. Then the king’s nutcase daughter dragged out this really old golem and everything went boom! So the old group is traveling together again. I wonder what’s waiting for us this time!

“Ah, what nice weather!” sighed Kaoru, staring up at the blue sky, infinitely high and crystal clear.

“It’s very peaceful de gozaru yo,” Kenshin agreed.

“If we had box lunches we could have a picnic,” Misao put in.

“But we’re in the middle of a journey, so don’t start being too comfortable,” Kaoru warned.

“But we hardly ever get a chance like this, so I want to stay a little longer,” Misao murmured. “Ne, Aoshi-sama?” She sat up when her question brought no response, and looked around for the marble chimaera. “Aoshi-sama?”

The back of Aoshi’s trenchcoat could just be glimpsed, vanishing into the distance.

“Jeez, he always has to take off on his own,” Yahiko muttered as the group raced in pursuit.

“I told you I’m on a journey to find the Claire Bible,” Aoshi told them over beef hot-pot. “And I also made clear that it’s my own personal problem. But even so… are you even listening to me?” he demanded.

Kaoru and Misao both protested, but their mouths were full so no one understood what they said.

“Either eat or talk,” the chimaera grumbled – then sweatdropped when they devoted their full attention to the food.

Kaoru slammed her cup onto the table. “I said, even if you do that, do you really expect us to say sure, whatever, like we’re strangers or something?” she demanded.

“You’re being so distant, Aoshi-sama,” protested Misao. “And after we’re all back together again too. We’ll all do whatever we can to help.”

“You all just think of me as your personal diversion,” Aoshi grumbled.

“Cut that out!” Kaoru objected. “It’s not like that. Right, Misao?”

“Of course not!” the princess agreed.

“All right,” Aoshi gave in. “Just stay out of my way. Because I’m risking everything on finding the Claire Bible.”

“What will you do with it when you find it?” asked Misao.

Everyone face-faulted. “Aoshi wants to use the power of the Claire Bible to turn from a chimaera back into an ordinary human,” Kaoru explained with a sigh.

Misao blinked. “You still want to do that? But you’re cool the way you are now, Aoshi-sama!”

“I don’t like it.”

“But what’s wrong it it, Aoshi-sama?” the irrepressible princess went on. “Even if you look different, our friendship is eternal!”

His ice-blue eyes stared past her. “What friendship?” he asked. “Enough of this. I’m going to bed.”

Misao gazed after him in shock. “Aoshi-sama…”

Crickets chirped outside, while Kaoru brushed her hair and gazed at her reflection in the mirror. “The Claire Bible,” she murmured. “First I’ll have to get some information about it…”

An explosion rocked the inn. Men poured into the streets, running this way and that, wondering what was going on. Was the town under attack? But nothing seemed to be on fire, there were no screams, no sounds of fighting.

Aoshi sprang from his bed, kodachi drawn, and looked out his window. Besides the frightened townsfolk, the only thing out of the ordinary he could see was the glow of fire on the horizon. It looked like it was on the far side of the nearby hill.

“Kaoru-dono!” Kenshin cried.

“Oi! Where’d she go?” Yahiko demanded.

Misao raced in. “Aoshi-sama! Kaoru’s gone!”

Aoshi sheathed his blades and calmly walked out of his room. “There appears to be a bandit camp to the south. I suggest we investigate it.”

If some god had offered Goheh Hiruma a wish, it would have been to never see Kaoru Kamiya again.

He hung suspended in midair, wearing nothing but a fundoshi. This one was printed with naruto, fishcakes shaped like many-pointed stars with spiral centers. Lazily, Kaoru tickled one of his feet with a stalk of timothy-grass. “Well, Goheh, what can you tell me about the Claire Bible?” she asked.

“Kaoru-dono!” Kenshin raced into the bandit camp, with the others in close pursuit. “Kaoru-dono, what’s going on de gozaru ka?”

She rubbed the back of her head. “Kenshin! Well, if you want to know about treasure, the best person to ask is usually a bandit – and since I heard some gossip in the inn that said our old friend Goheh was trying to start up the Dragon Fangs again, I figured maybe he’d know something about the Claire Bible.”

“Kaoru-san, you’re doing this for Aoshi-sama, aren’t you?” asked Misao.

“Don’t make light of the kind of treasure and information bandit gangs can have!” Kaoru replied.

“Exactly what I would have expected of the famous bandit destroyer, Kaoru Kamiya.”

Everyone turned around to see who had spoken. Barely visible against the night sky stood a tall, thin man in the blue uniform of a police officer. “So it was worth my while to follow you after all. I too am looking for the Claire Bible, and I wondered if you might retrieve a manuscript of it from a bandit gang I’ve been following.”

“A manuscript of the Claire Bible?” Aoshi repeated.

Kenshin’s eyes narrowed. “Who are you de gozaru ka?”

“I’m not a suspicious person,” replied the policeman with a tip of his cap. “My name is Gorou Fujita.”

They found an abandoned farmhouse to spend the remainder of the night. As the policeman sat by the fire, gazing into the flames, Kaoru and her friends talked quietly.

“Okay, he seems friendly, but what do you guys make of him?”Kaoru asked.

“He seems kind of suspicious to me,” Misao replied. “He dresses like a policeman, but we’re a long way from any town big enough to have police.”

“He did tell us about the manuscript,” Aoshi pointed out.

“But we don’t have any proof that there even is a manuscript,” objected Kaoru.

“There’s no need for you to concern yourselves about that,” the policeman growled. “The manuscript I’m seeking was stolen from a temple where it has been looked after for generations.”

Kaoru wasn’t finished. “Okay, even saying that, why are you looking for it?”

“I have a commission from the temple priests to recover their stolen goods,” Fujita replied. “That’s why I’m willing to join forces with you to find it.”

“Makes sense,” Kaoru admitted.

“It’s amazing how easily people believe a uniform and a badge,” the policeman smiled.

Misao stared. “You mean you were making that up?”

“Now look here, Fujita or whatever your name is!” Kaoru exploded. “We’re serious! Quit fooling around!”

“Ahou, I’m not fooling around!” the officer sputtered. “I am chasing a stolen manuscript, and I do need your help!”

“How come?” Yahiko demanded. “You’re a cop – strong, and I bet you’re a good swordsman – what do you need us for?”

“That’s a secret, ahou,” Fujita growled.

“What’s with him?” hissed Kaoru. “Is he trying to cheat us?”

“Ridiculous,” Aoshi commented. “Considering that now we know you’re after the same thing we are, what idiot would be stupid enough to help you?”

“Even if I offered you the information you need to cure your curse, Shinomori?” replied the policeman, with an ironic lift of one eyebrow.

“I don’t trust you,” the chimaera retorted, seizing the officer by the front of his tunic and lifting his feet clear of the floor. “What are you really after?”

“Aoshi-sama, he’s a policeman!” protested Misao. “You’ll get in trouble! Maybe he is tricking you… but maybe he really can help you get cured!”

“I said it before, my condition is my own problem.” Aoshi let Fujita drop and walked out into the night.

“Aoshi-sama…” Misao whispered.

“That idiot, going off on his own again!” Kaoru fumed, and turned to the policeman. “Okay, Fujita-san. We’ll go to the bandits’ hideout and find your book. But I won’t promise you anything about what happens once it’s in your hands.”

“Fair enough,” the officer agreed.

“Okay, so who are these bandits anyway?” asked Yahiko.

“They call themselves the New Ginyu Force.”

“Ginyu?” Misao repeated. “They named themselves for the legendary…?” Everyone sweatdropped.

“During the War of the Monster’s Resurrection, a group of mazoku called the Ginyu Force were Shabranigdo’s chief lieutenants,” Fujita explained. “These bandits have modeled themselves on the originals, and may be seeking to use the Claire Bible to gain their power.”

“I have a really bad feeling about this…” Yahiko murmured.

The guards were huge, with rippling muscles they displayed to fullest advantage by wearing only skimpy fundoshi and huge shoulder guards. The impressive look was somewhat spoiled by the fact that one was short, squat and green-skinned, and appeared to have a great deal of frog in his background, and the other, while fully human, had an absurdly narrow head atop his bulky body, ears like jug handles, and a stupid expression. “They don’t look very dangerous,” whispered Misao as the two guards flexed their muscles.

“Don’t underestimate them,” Kaoru retorted, and waved at the guards. “Hi! Good work today! We’ve come to join up with you!”

The guards stopped posing and peered at her. “Whaddya got there?”

“A princess of Seyruun! Hope you like her!”

“Ow ow oww,” Misao didn’t have to feign discomfort as one of the muscular guards threw her into a cell. His partner led Kaoru and her friends deeper into the bandit fortress.

“Oi, Busu,” Yahiko muttered. “You really think this is gonna work?”

“Well, we’re inside, aren’t we? All we have to do is ask the leader where he’s got the manuscript. Misao will cause a diversion, and we grab the manuscript in the confusion. Piece of cake.”

The bandit leader was huge, with purple skin and a slightly reptilian appearance. “Come on, little people!” he roared. “Want to join the New Ginyu Force?”

Kaoru sweatdropped. “What do we have to do?”

“Well, you gotta be good fighters ’cuz the New Ginyus are the deadliest warriors in the universe. But since you guys managed to catch a Seyruun princess all by yourselves, that oughtta be no problem. And the other thing we’re famous for is our poses!”

“Poses de gozaru ka?” Kenshin echoed.

“Sure thing, brat. Ya gotta show the world you’re a Ginyu! With style!” He squatted with his arms outstretched. “New Ginyu Force… Kumisu! That’s my name,” he added.

“Lame…” breathed Yahiko.

“What I really want is your manuscript of the Claire Bible!” Kaoru put in.

“The manuscript?” the bandit leader repeated. “If that’s what you want, then we’ll give it to you – over our dead bodies!” He snapped his fingers. Several more creatures surrounded Kaoru and her friends, all striking poses.

“Uh, Busu, don’t look now but I don’t think they fell for it,” Yahiko muttered.

“That’s right, brat!” Kumisu roared. “Somebody tipped me off that you guys were gonna try and steal our treasure!”

Yahiko backed up to Kaoru and drew his shinai. Kenshin’s right hand hovered over the hilt of his sakabatou. His eyes narrowed and grew pale.

In her cell, Misao slithered free of the ropes that bound her. I wonder if I should do it now? I guess so…

Flare…

The fortress started to shake. Rocks rained down on her.

Fireball!

“That guy didn’t say nothin’ about these guys bein’ so strong!” the scorched bandit leader yelled, and fled – but not before Kaoru spotted him.

“Kenshin! Yahiko! Take care of the rest of them for me!” She took off after the departing leader.

Yahiko grinned. Kenshin sheathed his blade and took a step forward.

Outside the fortress, Aoshi Shinomori sat on a rock and watched the destruction. “And so it begins,” he murmured.

“Our plan’s ruined,” Kaoru grumbled as she ran.

“Not at all. This fits my plan perfectly.”

Kaoru looked up. Fujita, the mysterious policeman, was standing on empty air. “What do you mean, your plan?” she demanded.

“I was the one who told the bandits that someone was coming to steal their treasure,” he admitted.

“You did?” squawked Kaoru.

“Of course,” the officer replied. “You see, when people panic they usually try to grab their most precious possession.”

Kumisu ran into a chamber heaped with treasure. Hastily he flung open a small chest and started taking sheets of parchment out of it. “Ain’t no way I’m lettin’ that bitch get her mitts on this,” he muttered.

“So you caused all this just so he’d lead you to the manuscript?” Kaoru demanded. “We were just pawns to you?”

“Pawns?” the officer repeated, lifting one eyebrow. “Perhaps more highly ranked than mere pawns, but still pieces to be moved on the board. After all, if you can fool your friends, it’s a simple matter to fool your enemies. Shall we go?”

Clutching his treasure, the bandit ran for the exit – only to run into the crossed kodachi of Aoshi Shinomori. The bandit dropped, and the manuscript pages fluttered to the ground.

“Hey, Aoshi!” Koaru called. “Did you follow us in too?”

Aoshi bent and picked up the pages. “Don’t worry, I only struck him with the hilt,” he murmured. “It’s nothing personal. I told you before this was my problem. I never intended for you to involve yourselves in my business.”

“Aoshi, wait!” Kaoru cried.

“This isn’t good,” the policeman muttered, and vanished.

Aoshi stalked through the burning fortress, the precious manuscript clutched in his marble hand. “No need to stay here any longer,” he said to himself. “Thank you for your help, Kaoru Kamiya. Don’t take this personally.” He stopped. In the flames ahead of him was a tall, thin shadow – the figure of Gorou Fujita.

“Forgive me,” Fujita smiled. “You should let me examine that first.” He vanished, and reappeared at Aoshi’s side. He took the manuscript and vanished again, reappearing in the opening of a window high overhead.

“Give that back to me!” Aoshi shouted.

Fujita glanced at the pages. “It’s of no use to me,” he murmured.

Flare Arrow!

Aoshi’s bolt splattered harmlessly against a barrier of magical energy.

“Fujita-san, wait!” cried Kaoru. “You promised he’d get the information he needs!”

“Never mind, Kaoru Kamiya,” Aoshi replied. “Nothing will stop me now.” His eyes glittered like ice under a clear sky.

Buday...;

“Aoshi, don’t do it!” Kaoru screamed.

...Wind!

The chamber exploded. A few sheets of parchment drifted to the ground. Aoshi picked one up. “As long as I have this…”

It burst into blue flames in his hand.

“It seems that wasn’t the manuscript I’m seeking at all,” Fujita said, standing on thin air above their heads. “I can’t have you looking at those troubling pages now, so I took the liberty of destroying them. But don’t worry, those pages didn’t have any of the information you wanted.”

“You think I believe you?” snapped Aoshi.

“Whether or not you believe me is up to you. I’m sure we’ll meet again… and when we do I’ll have another job for you.”

Kaoru stared. “Fujita-san… what are you really after?”

“That’s a secret, ahou.” He vanished.

“How could you, Kaoru-san?” Misao demanded.

“I got a real bad feeling about this,” muttered Yahiko.

“Using me as his cats-paw…” Kaoru fumed. “I’d like to show him some of my Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu! I wonder who he really is…”

“Anyway, Aoshi-sama, I’m really impressed,” Misao went on. “How did you manage to find the treasure chamber and the manuscript?”

“Well,” the marble chimaera replied with a slight smile, “that’s a secret.”

NOTES, EXPLANATIONS ETC.

“It’s a secret, ahou.” I can resist everything except temptation… particularly the temptation to put the Wolf of Mibu in an embarrassing situation!

I needed another gang of miscellaneous morons. The bandits in this episode of Slayers wear very little and spend most of their time posing and waggling their pecs – so even though I don’t really care for DBZ the Ginyus seemed to fit. (And thanks to Luriko-Ysabeth again for figuring out who I was trying to think of. They really were right on the tip of my brain…) The original Ginyus are, of course, insanely overpowered for this series, so I made up this bunch of lamer wannabes. They aren’t very strong – but they’ve got style! At least they think so…

The leader’s name, Kumisu, is really kumiss – a drink made from fermented mare’s milk. Most of the Ginyu Force names are puns on dairy products: yogurt, butter, cheese… so I came up with something dairyish and nasty-sounding.

And I promise, this is absolutely the last appearance by Goheh Hiruma and his silly fundoshi.

So we’re off on a trail that will lead us to encounters with dragons, gods, and the end of the world – but first we’ve got to stop off in Atlas City and find out what’s ailing the Sorcerers Guild. O-tanoshimi ni!