Trying to untangle all the mysteries going on, I, Kaoru Kamiya, and my three friends are on our way to Sairaag. Mou, Katsu and his partner just won’t give up! We took a detour to get away from our pursuers, but that didn’t really help. Between getting attacked by golems in a cave, going over a waterfall, and having Misao taken hostage, it was pretty tough! While I was finally able to get rid of Katsu with the Dragon Slave, it’s still a long way to Sairaag. Oh, well, guess I have to live with it!

“I’ve had it!” Kaoru screeched.

It was another gang of bandits: a tall one with a broom of upswept hair, who seemed to be the leader, and his two buddies – a muscle-bound hulk and a little guy who soared on bat-wings and attacked from above. They looked even more idiotic than the usual run of idiots who’d been hassling them lately.

“Better give up now,” the hulk rumbled. “The Three Birdbrains are gonna kick your pretty little ass!”

“That’s Three Ravens, moron!” Broom-head sputtered and whacked his companion over the head.

Kaoru sweatdropped.

“Wait, please!” Misao begged. “We’re not villains! We’re on the side of Justice!”

“Shut up!” Broom-head yelled. “Kaoru Kamiya, fugitive from justice! Taste my Kuchibachi-oh!”

“Whatever,” Kaoru sighed.

FIREBALL!

Three well-fried Birdbrains lay on the scorched ground, groaning in agony.

Kaoru looked down at them. “If I was serious, you’d be dead now,” she pointed out. “But I figured I’d hold off and just teach you guys a lesson.”

“Not sure they’re smart enough to learn it,” Yahiko grumbled.

“Excuse me…”

Kaoru and Misao turned around… and gasped in amazement. The handsomest young man they had ever seen stumbled into the clearing, leaning on a crude staff. He had red-gold hair and clear amethyst eyes, nearly as big as Kenshin’s. The unmarked loveliness of his perfect face contrasted sharply with the rest of him, which was much the worse for wear. Except for that flawless face, he looked like he had been beaten up – more than once.

“Oh, great, another weirdo,” growled Yahiko. “Listen up. If you don’t wanna get hurt…”

“No, wait!” the young man protested. “I… I wish to hire the services of a skilled mahoutsukai.”

As he approached, Kaoru and Misao’s fascination changed to revulsion. Both girls turned blue and recoiled from his presence. Finally Misao couldn’t endure it any longer. “I hate you!” she screamed, and punched him in the face.

“What’s wrong, Misao-dono?” Kenshin asked. He bent to examine the stranger more closely. “He’s not a troll or anything de gozaru yo.”

“What do you mean, troll?” the youth asked. The bruise on his cheek faded before their eyes, leaving him unmarked and as exquisite as ever.

Kaoru and Misao cringed away. “Stay away from us! Shoo! Go away!”

“Oro?” Kenshin blinked. “Kaoru-dono? What’s wrong with this man?”

Impossibly long lashes veiled the lovely amethyst eyes. “This… condition… of mine is why I need your services. You will, of course, be repaid for your efforts.”

“Repaid?” Her fist and jaw clenched with determination, Kaoru forced herself closer. She peered at him, then turned and whispered something to Misao.

The younger girl burst into tears. “I have to do it?” she asked.

Kaoru nodded.

Misao approached as close as she dared, averted her face, and stretched out her hand.

O Power of Light and Earth and Wind,
Break now this evil spell.
FLOW BREAK!

Black vapor rose from the young man’s body, thinned and vanished in the sunlight. He blinked. “What was that?”

“You had a spell on you to repel girls,” Kaoru exclaimed. “A really powerful one.”

“She… she put a spell like that on me?” the youth asked.

“You look like you’re having some trouble,” Kaoru observed.

“Yes I am,” the young man admitted. “My name is Mitsuru Ikeda. I was adopted as heir to the Kokuryu Temple. But an evil onna-mahoutsukai has come into my home and is trying to force me to marry her younger sister!”

Kaoru frowned. “Her name wouldn’t be Nagisa, would it?”

“That’s right, Nagisa Tezuka. How did you know?”

“She’s been doing it for years, so most mahoutsukai have heard of her. She’s got a whole bunch of younger sisters so she marries them off to rich guys by hook or crook and takes them for all they’ve got. But I thought she’d finally married off the last one.”

“There’s one left,” Mitsuru grimaced. “The only thing that’s holding her back is that until I’m confirmed as priest I have no control over the temple’s wealth. So she made a deal with me.”

“What kind of deal?” asked Misao.

“If I could get another girl to marry me before my confirmation, then she would leave. But if I couldn’t, I’d have to marry Shinobu.”

“If you’re gonna be a priest, don’t that mean you can’t get married at all?” asked Yahiko.

Mitsuru shook his head. “The Kokuryu’s order isn’t celibate. My younger brother’s just a kid, so there’s some pressure on me to marry and produce an heir. I think that’s why Nagisa thinks she can push Shinobu off on me.”

“That’s her sister?” Misao asked.

“So she slapped a girl-repellent spell on you,” Kaoru guessed.

“I had no idea she’d done it,” Mitsuru went on. “I’ve been wandering around for days looking for someone who would marry me.”

“And all they did was either run away or hit you, right?”

Mitsuru bowed his head. “But I’ve finally found someone…”

Kaoru blinked. “Huh?”

“A beautiful, powerful woman to be my bride!”

“Who?” Kaoru asked.

The young man knelt and clasped Kaoru’s hands. “Kaoru-san, it’s you!”

“WHAT?!” Kaoru screeched, and bashed him over the head with her bokken.

“It wouldn’t be a real marriage,” Mitsuru hastened to add, rubbing the swelling lump. “But Kaoru-san, don’t you see why it has to be you? You’re the one who saw through Nagisa’s spell and saved me! Please… I’ve got to get Nagisa and Shinobu out of my house before I… before I…”

“Before you what?” Kaoru still held her bokken in a menacing pose.

Mitsuru sighed. “Shinobu. I’ve never felt this strongly about any other girl. If she were anybody but Nagisa’s sister – but all Nagisa wants is to get her hands on my family’s temple! Please, Kaoru-san? If it’ll help I’ll give you a reward. I’ll give you a carriage to take you all the way to Sairaag.”

“Come on, Kaoru-san!” cried Misao. “For the sake of Justice you can get married once or twice!”

“Fine, you do it!” Kaoru retorted. “It may be fake, but marriage is marriage! An innocent maiden can’t do that like it’s nothing.”

Yahiko snorted.

“How about for a thousand gold pieces?” asked Mitsuru.

“A thousand?” Kaoru blinked. “No, I’m…”

“Okay, two thousand.”

“Two thousand…?” she squeaked.

“I’ll even go as high as five thousand.”

She turned around. “I suppose so… after all, it’s only once.”

“Thank you so much!” Mitsuru nearly wept with joy.

“All right!” cheered Misao.

“She’s a shrewd businesswoman de gozaru yo,” Kenshin observed.

“Hey, does this mean we can finally eat?” demanded Yahiko.

Sanosuke Sagara stumbled on the crispy critters who had once been the Three Ravens… er… Three Birdbrains. He nudged the broom-haired leader with his foot. “Oi. What happened?”

“That… horrible… Kaoru Kamiya!” the injured man gasped.

“Kaoru Kamiya? Which way did she go?”

The man pointed. “That way.”

“Excellent,” Sano said to himself. “There oughtta be a post-town that way.”

The town slumbered peacefully in its small valley, watched over by the buildings of a surprisingly large temple complex. In the formal main room of the living quarters, an elegantly-dressed brunette handed a cup of tea to her silver-haired companion.

“It looks as though Mitsuru might not come back after all, neesan,” the silver-haired one murmured.

“Don’t sound so relieved,” the brunette replied. “He won’t run, not with his fortune and all his obligations here. No, he’ll come in dragging his sorry tail any minute now.”

“Tadaima!” called Mitsuru. He didn’t sound the least bit like he was dragging his sorry tail. Shinobu sat up straighter; her silver eyes lit up.

“That was fast,” Nagisa commented. “I suppose you were unable to convince a girl to marry you?”

Mitsuru smiled and opened the door.

Nagisa jumped to her feet, consternation written on her face. A slender figure stood in the doorway, wearing the snowy kimono, headdress and concealing veil of a bride. Behind her stood a maid and two manservants.

“Masaka!” Nagisa gasped.

“This is my fiancée, Kaori,” Mitsuru beamed.

“Yoroshiku,” the bride murmured.

“Neesan…” Shinobu whispered.

Mitsuru couldn’t break that spell by himself, thought Nagisa. Who is this girl? “How do you do?” she asked aloud, combining her greeting with a mental attack. The strange “bride” blocked it with ease. She repelled it! She must be an onna-mahoutsukai! I wonder…

She’s good! Kaoru thought. If she catches me by surprise I’ll be in real trouble!

Nagisa looked down at her nose at the bride’s “servants.” “And who are they?” she sneered.

“I’m Minako!” Misao chirped. “Kaori-san’s personal maid!”

“Sessha is…” Kenshin’s response was buried by a sneeze so violent it dislodged the bandage from his cheek. He quickly replaced it under cover of an apologetic bow, but not before Nagisa had glimpsed the cross scar. “Sessha is called Kenichi,” he murmured.

Red hair and a cross scar, Nagisa thought. That’s it, Kaoru Kamiya is supposed to be traveling with a swordsman who has red hair and a scarred cheek. Lucky! There’s a huge bounty on those two! She didn’t even hear the boy introduce himself. There’s something else, something about red hair and a cross scar… oh well. He’s only a swordsman so it can’t be that important.

“The wedding will be held in the temple tomorrow morning,” Mitsuru announced. “Now keep your promise and leave!”

“As you wish,” Nagisa replied with a bow. “My sister and I will depart immediately following the ceremony. Now if you will excuse us.” She swept past, followed by the silver-haired girl, who looked at Mitsuru with something like despair.

“It worked!” Misao cheered. “Kaoru-san, you’re brilliant!”

Kaoru wasn’t so sure. That look Nagisa gave me… she’s not going to take this lying down. And she had seen Shinobu’s longing gaze… and the pain in Mitsuru’s eyes.

Tomorrow was going to be very difficult.

In the privacy of their own room, Nagisa rounded on Shinobu. Her lovely face was contorted with rage, her slender fingers crooked into claws. “I don’t know what you’re plotting,” she hissed, “but you’d better not do anything to mess up my plans!”

“Plotting, neesan?” Shinobu asked, her silver eyes wide with innocence. “Whatever could you mean? I could never plot against you.”

“I’m not blind, little sister. I’ve seen the way you look at Mitsuru. And that go-out-and-find-another-girl scheme was your idea. You didn’t know there was an onna-mahoutsukai in the area, did you? No, you never know anything like that, Shinobu-chan.”

Shinobu spread her hands in denial. “Neesan…”

“Do you think you can get him for yourself after all?”Nagisa sneered. “Just what do you suppose he’ll think of you when he finds out what you really are?”

The silver-haired girl turned away, her shoulders slumped and head bowed in profound, bitter shame. The walls echoed with Nagisa’s laughter.

“You’re so beautiful, Kaoru-san!” Misao enthused.

Yahiko bent to peer under her dress.

“What are you doing, you little pervert!” Kaoru snarled.

“I just wanted to see if it was really you, busu!” the boy whined, rubbing the lump on his head. “You… you look like a real girl or somethin’!”

Mitsuru bowed and raised Kaoru’s hand to his lips. “You look so lovely I almost regret this is pretense,” he murmured.

Misao gasped. “Mitsuru! What are you doing here? Don’t you know it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony? Something’s going to go wrong now for sure!”

“Maa, maa,” Kenshin soothed. “Kaoru-dono has it all planned.” But there was an edge to his voice. There was something, a faint itch on the edge of his senses…

“Your targets are the bride and the man with long red hair and a bandaged cheek,” Nagisa told her henchmen. They looked much more formidable than ordinary bandits. Every single one of them wore black tunic and trews and had a narrow black mask tied across his eyes. “They are to be captured alive if possible. Do so, and I’ll give you half the bounty to split among you.”

“Only half?” the leader asked.

“Half the bounty on these two is more than you’ve seen in the rest of your miserable life,” Nagisa smirked. “The woman is the onna-mahoutsukai Kaoru Kamiya; the man is her swordsman companion Kenshin Himura. I’m sure you’ve seen the reward posters.”

“So what do you want us to do?” The gangster was suddenly all attention.

“During the ceremony I’ll expose their identities and give the signal for you to capture them.” You think you’re so smart, Kaoru Kamiya, she said to herself. I’ll show you what happens when you interfere with Nagisa Tezuka!

The sanctuary doors opened. First Mitsuru made his stately way down the aisle alone. An approving murmur ran around the chamber; the young priest’s charming manner had made him popular in the town. He took his place in front of the high altar and surveyed the congregation. His amethyst eyes met Shinobu’s silver ones and he abruptly looked away.

Nagisa saw it and smirked.

Then, to the sprightly strains of a processional hymn, Kaoru glided down the aisle on Kenshin’s arm. All the guests turned around to see the woman who had rescued Mitsuru from the arrogant, grasping Nagisa. They gasped with amazement at her grace and beauty. She moved so smoothly it looked like she was floating. Actually she was floating, levitating a couple of inches off the floor so she wouldn’t trip over the hem of her gown.

Nagisa smirked. Nothing could possibly go wrong now.

Beside her, Shinobu smiled with serene confidence.

There seemed to be something going on at the temple. The bells were ringing wildly, and a bunch of yakuza types were standing around outside waiting for something to happen. Sanosuke sauntered up to them, his hands jammed into his hakama slits as usual. “Oi, what’s goin’ on?” he asked.

“Who the hell are you?” the gangster leader demanded.

Sano ignored him. “Quite a show you got here,” he observed. “What’s all the excitement?”

“We’re after a big bounty, so don’t get in our way!” the leader snarled. He found his eyes on a level with the tall stranger’s and his feet dangling several inches off the ground.

“A bounty?” Sano growled. “On who?!”

A shadow fell across him. Sano looked up to see Katsuhiro Tsukioka standing on air, his mauve hakama and straight black hair waving about him. He grinned. “So the phoenix returns, eh, Katsu? You’re just in time.”

“…and promise to love her for better or for worse, Mitsuru Ikeda?” the priest intoned.

“I do.” Mitsuru looked like he was agreeing to his own execution.

“And you, Kaori?”

“I do,” Kaoru replied absently. Her mind was on Nagisa. Why isn’t she trying anything?

“Please place the rings on your fingers,” the priest went on. “You may kiss.”

Kaoru’s glare could have melted steel.

“K… kiss?” stammered Mitsuru. His clear skin flushed a becoming pink. “Since my bride is so shy, we’ll save that for later.”

An opening! Nagisa shot to her feet. “Now everyone, shouldn’t we see the bride and groom kiss? You’re supposed to kiss after you exchange rings. It’s the part of the ceremony that seals the marriage.”

“Kiss! Kiss!” cried the guests. “Come on, Mitsuru-kun, don’t be shy! Let’s see you kiss her!”

Even the priest was nodding.

K-k-KISS him? I can’t! Kaoru thought in panic.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” chanted the guests.

This is really bad! thought Kaoru.

Mitsuru leaned forward. “Kaoru-san, please! Please kiss me!”

“NOOO!”

Nagisa sat down with a satisfied smirk on her face.

“Please,” Mitsuru begged. “Just kiss me and we can settle this!”

“No, I can’t!”

Mitsuru lifted Kaoru’s veil. “One kiss and I’ll give you two thousand gold pieces,” he whispered.

Her flesh crawled at the thought of his lips on hers, but… two thousand, on top of the three he had already promised? Five thousand gold pieces?

Were even five thousand gold pieces worth kissing a man she didn’t love?

“Is she really going to kiss him?” Misao wondered.

Kenshin looked like his world was ending. Of course he had not worn his sword into the sanctuary, but his right hand went involuntarily to where it ought to be.

Mitsuru brought his hand up to cup Kaoru’s face, and incidentally shield their lips from the congregation’s view. “Please play along,” he murmured.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” The chanting was getting louder.

Kaoru stomped on Mitsuru’s foot with her spike heel and lowered her veil. Mitsuru took hold of the veil to raise it.

“He’s gonna do it!” cried Yahiko.

“Five thousand gold pieces!” Mitsuru urged.

Kaoru’s fist sent him flying across the chapel.

Nagisa jumped to her feet. “Thank you for such an entertaining farce, Kaoru Kamiya.”

A gasp went up from the guests. “Did she say Kaoru Kamiya?”

“The one all those reward posters are for?”

“This wedding is a fake!” Nagisa proclaimed. “Now, men! Capture these criminals!”

The door slammed open. But it wasn’t Nagisa’s black-clad goons who entered, it was Sanosuke Sagara, hands in hakama slits and fishbone in mouth. “It’s been a while, Himura, Jou-chan.”

Kaoru’s hands flew to her mouth. “Sanosuke!”

“Who is this guy?” Nagisa demanded. “He’s ruining everything!”

Things are really getting complicated now! Kaoru thought. Then a huge sphere of ice flew toward her out of nowhere. She leaped out of its way.

FIREBALL!

The explosion blew the roof off the chapel.

“There’s the signal!” the yakuza leader exclaimed. “Come on!”

The wedding guests fled in blind panic.

“It’s been a while,” Katsu purred.

Kaoru glared at him. “You mean you didn’t die?!”

“Che, what’s this guy made of?” Yahiko wondered.

Yelling, the gangsters charged in.

“Hey, who are those guys?” Kaoru yelled.

“What a mess! Everything’s gone to hell!” Nagisa raged. “I’ll kill that little witch with my own hands. Out of my way!” She pushed her way back through the crowd of panicked guests until she had a clear line of sight.

FLARE ARROW!

Kaoru ducked, and the spell missed.

FIREBALL!

Nagisa didn’t care what she destroyed any more, as long as she got the little minx who’d ruined her plans.

Rather than counterattack, Kaoru fled upstairs. The fireball caught the foot of the stairs just as she reached the top, and the explosion blew her halfway down the hall. “This is awful,” she wept. She was scorched and bruised, and her beautiful dress was in tatters.

“Kaoru-dono!” Kenshin shouted. He had managed to retrieve his sakabatou, but he was hemmed in by several gangsters and Sanosuke was pressing him hard. As quickly as he knocked the gangsters down, more took their places. There seemed to be no end to them, and he had to get to Kaoru!

Nagisa raced up the stairs after Kaoru. She heard a sound behind her, and turned to see Katsu standing in mid-air. “Stay out of this!” she ordered. “Kaoru is mine!”

“I cannot,” Katsu replied in his calm voice.

“Get out of my way!” Nagisa screeched.

“No, it is you who should get out of my way.”

The argument ended when a vase smashed into the back of Nagisa’s head and knocked her out cold. Misao dusted off her hands in triumph.

Katsu sighed. “Not you…”

Misao raised her hands. “As an ally of Justice, I shall right wrongs and triumph over evil – and that means you!”

BLAM BLAZER!

Lightning bolts erupted from her hands – but impacted harmlessly on Katsu’s magical shield. He raised one hand for a counterattack.

FREEZE ARROW!

Misao easily dodged Katsu’s ice-bolts. Meanwhile, Nagisa recovered and raced after Kaoru and her lost treasure.

Kaoru stepped out from behind a corner.

ELMEKIA LANCE!

“Too easy!” jeered Nagisa as she sidestepped the bolt, and retaliated. A column of flame blasted through the roof. Caught in the explosion, Kaoru did her best to shield herself from the searing heat.

“They’re wrecking my house!” Mitsuru lamented.

“Mitsuru-dono!” Kenshin called.

“Yes?”

“Sessha needs to find Kaoru-dono. Please take care of the rest of the gangsters.” He darted up the stairs.

Mitsuru’s eyes widened at the sight of the advancing black wall. He could take care of himself well enough, but there were so many of them!

“Let me help,” murmured a voice at his ear. He looked around and saw a young man about his own age, with silver-gray hair and eyes. He looked hauntingly familiar… but Mitsuru thought he’d remember having met such a gorgeous youth.

“Get away while you can,” Mitsuru replied. “I won’t let them hurt you.”

“These? Nothing to worry about.” The strange youth smiled with easy confidence.

A section of wall vanished in a white-purple glow. Nagisa stepped into the room. “You can’t escape me now, Kaoru!”

“You’re pretty persistent for an old lady,” Kaoru retorted.

Nagisa went white. “Enough of your insults!”

FLARE ARROW!

Kaoru dodged – but tripped on an overturned chair, straight into the path of the fiery darts.

“Kaoru-dono!” The Flare Arrows vanished in a shower of firefly-sparks. Kenshin stood in front of Kaoru in a solid defensive stance, the blade in his hands a bar of blue-white light.

Nagisa blinked. I knew there was something about that guy… but I couldn’t think what red hair and crossed scars reminded me of! Of course – the Sword of Light! I can take Kaoru Kamiya in a straight-up magical duel… but no human being can stand against the Battousai! She turned to flee.

Mitsuru burst into the room. At his side was a silver-haired youth that neither Kaoru nor Kenshin had seen before.

“Going somewhere, Neesan?” the strange young man asked.

Her knees buckled and she collapsed. “Shinobu…”

“Kinda convenient, everybody here at once.” Sanosuke loomed in the doorway, still chewing on his ever-present fishbone.

“They’re mine.” Nagisa got up, hanging on with dogged persistence to the one thing she still might salvage out of all this ruin – that Kaoru Kamiya was within her grasp and she still might get her hands on the bounty. “They’re mine!”

“Oi, we were after these guys long before you,” Sano growled.

“I’ll finish them,” Katsu said in his flat, calm voice. A sphere of light grew in his hands.

“First one wins!” Nagisa exclaimed.

FLARE ARROW!

Katsu cast his spell at the same instant.

FREEZE ARROW!

Mitsuru blinked. “They vanished!”

“The two spells cancelled each other out,” Kaoru explained.

Nagisa started to laugh – a low, mirthless chuckle that sent chills up Kaoru’s spine. There was nothing sane in her eyes. “I don’t know who you are, but you don’t get away from me that easily,” she said.

“Neesan!” Shinobu protested.

“Nobody gets the better of Nagisa Tezuka!”

MEGA BRAND!

The world exploded.

“Misao, full speed ahead!” called Kaoru.

“Right!” Misao snapped the reins and the cart-horse trotted faster.

“So that sister of Nagisa’s was really her brother?” Yahiko marveled.

“That’s right,” Kaoru explained. “You know, I’d heard a few years ago that she married off the last of her sisters, so I was wondering where this one came from. It seems she wanted one last big score, so she forced her brother to dress up as a girl. Getting Mitsuru to go looking for another bride was Shinobu’s idea, by the way; he saw it as a way to interfere with Nagisa’s plans.”

“Wouldn’t it have been awful if they’d gotten married and then Mitsuru had found out?” Misao asked.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kaoru replied. “They seem to be getting along awfully well as it is.”

“Ewwww!” Yahiko sputtered.

“Anyway, it was good of Mitsuru-dono to give us this horse and cart, since he needs all his money to rebuild the house and temple,” Kenshin added.

“The good feeling that you get from helping people ought to be reward enough,” chirped Misao.

“Who thought that one up?” Kaoru scoffed. “Besides, Katsu and Sanosuke are still alive… and Sairaag’s a long way off!”

NOTES, EXPLANATIONS ETC.

Just who was manipulating who here? Mitsuru, Nagisa and Shinobu are, of course, from Here Is Greenwood, and of course Shinobu always gets the better of big-sis Nagisa. Even if Mitsuru didn’t do that well on his own… well, he didn’t have much luck finding a girl to be in his movie either.

And I needed another random bunch of bandits, so I grabbed the three idiots from Flame of Recca. There is actually a sort of pun in what they call themselves, they are supposedly the Three Ravens (san ba karasu) but one of them simply says san baka, Three Idiots. (Maybe it ought to be Three Raving Idiots?) “Birdbrain” was slang for a stupid person when I was a girl, so it seemed to fit. Fortunately, there’s no shortage of miscellaneous morons.

Nagisa’s black-clad goons are, of course, derived from the four bodyguards in Greenwood. I didn’t think to invent an excuse to send them out for tiramisu… but then I’d have had to bring in Bakuretsu Hunters and I’ve never even seen it, so it’s probably just as well…