Kaoru woke surrounded by stone walls. Stars gleamed through the shattered remnants of colored windows… it looked like the building had been a temple once. Feels like there’s a hundred bees buzzing in my head…

There was a derisive, masculine laugh. “So you’re awake now.”

She focused on a familiar masked figure. “Hannya!” She tried to attack – but her arms were securely bound over her head, and only her toes touched the floor – if she moved, her weight sent excruciating agony through her wrists.

“No use trying to struggle,” her demon-masked captor leered. She looked beyond him: Aoshi Shinomori, the enormous, trollish Hyottoko, and his cat-eyed companion were all there, gloating over her predicament.

“It seems we overestimated you, little girl,” Aoshi purred.

She looked them over. Aoshi… Hannya… Hyottoko… the little one with the cat-slit eyes… the big one with the scars must be on guard outside… That’s right, they caught me… so where are Kenshin and Yahiko?

“The guy who was with you ran off after he heard we’d got you,” the little man piped up. “So did the brat.”

“Looks like he dumped you, girlie,” Hannya jeered.

“Anyway, let’s get to the point,” Hyottoko went on. “Looks like we were wrong to think you were carrying it.” He exhaled oily fumes into her face; she flinched away. “Where’s the orihalcon statue?”

“Who knows?” she retorted.

“You gave it to your companion? Is that it?” Aoshi asked.

“So, now what?” Kaoru put all the sarcasm she could muster into her tone.

“What confuses me is our losing track of the statue,” Aoshi went on. “How did you do it?”

“Simple. I put wards on everything like that,” she answered.

“A ward?” He blinked. It was simple – so simple he’d never thought of it.

“I figured you were using magic to track the thing, but with a ward on it, you’ll never be able to.”

“You can do that?” A ward that powerful was no simple spell… and Aoshi simply hadn’t seen that much power from this girl, for all her fearsome reputation.

“Of course.” Her position wouldn’t let her shrug, but her attitude was plain.

It didn’t make sense. “So why did you use such feeble techniques against me when we fought?”

She sputtered in anger. “I didn’t even give you a taste of my true power!”

“You don’t seem like an idiot,” he mused. “But why use such weak tricks against me…? Of course! It’s that time of the month!”

“Lay off!” she screeched. Hannya and Hyottoko looked at each other and sweatdropped.

“In any case,” Aoshi went on, “we’ll have to keep you alive until we recover the orihalcon statue. Hannya, do whatever you want with her, just don’t kill her.”

“Hai, Okashira! I understand perfectly!” The demon mask leered into her face. “Little girl, for all the grief you’ve caused me… I’d like to thank you with a little payback!”

Ignoring the pain in her wrists, Kaoru planted her foot in Hannya’s face.

He couldn’t have been injured, not through the mask, but he stepped back anyway. “Guess I’m going to have to teach you a painful lesson. Hyottoko?”

The fat man scratched his head. “Huh? What?”

“Smile!”

Hyottoko blushed in confusion. “Uh… like this?” He displayed his few bad teeth in a forced grin.

“No, moron, like this!” The little cat-eyed guy jumped onto Hyottoko’s back and stretched his mouth wide.

“Hey, quihit! Cuh i ow! Eshiyi!”

Kaoru sighed in disgust and waited for them to get on with the torture.

Hannya dragged Hyottoko closer to Kaoru. This close, she could see that Hyottoko’s front teeth weren’t dark with decay, they had flints imbedded in them. So that’s how he breathes fire, his teeth are strikers!

“You keep jerking us around, those teeth get used!” snarled Hannya. “Now, unless you want to get burned to a crisp, come clean and tell the Okashira where the orihalcon statue is! Otherwise…”

Kaoru’s eyes went round with apprehension. “The orihalcon…” she began in a small, frightened voice.

“Go on, speak up!” Hannya prompted. “What’s that?”

“The orihalcon’s…” Kaoru stammered again.

Hannya pressed closer. “What?”

“Well… YAAAAH!” she yelled as loud as she could – so loud she blew Hannya back into the wall.

Hyottoko and his little friend burst into laughter. Even the corner of Aoshi’s mouth twitched. “You fell for it, baka!” the little man guffawed.

“Who’s a baka?” Hannya growled. “Better shut up, Beshimi, unless you want to really fly!” He turned to Kaoru. “That’s it, girlie. No more Mister Nice Guy. Noonsa! Get in here, Noonsa!”

“Is it my turn?” a deep, gruff voice echoed among the stones of the abandoned temple. The door crashed open, admitting a flood of water… and the head of an enormous fish. Kaoru stared – what magic could have created such a monster? It had human arms and walked on human legs… but the rest of it was a scaly, slimy fish, every bit as large as Kaoru herself. It ran to her side and she shrank away in sheer instinctive revulsion, as far as her bonds would allow.

“Okay, Noonsa,” Hannya chuckled. “Give the girl a kiss.”

Rivers of sweatdrops poured down Kaoru’s neck. “K-k-kiss!?”

“You’ll love it,” Noonsa leered, “getting a kiss from me. I’m the handsomest guy in my whole tribe!”

“Who said you were handsome!” Kaoru retorted. The fish-man puckered his lips and came closer. “Get away!” she squeaked. “Get away! Don’t even touch me!” I wanted my first kiss to come from a handsome prince… or maybe Kenshin… not some yucky, slimy, smelly fish!

The scaly blue lips came closer… and Kaoru screamed.

“Whoa! Deep kiss!” Hyottoko marveled. Noonsa had Kaoru’s head entirely in his mouth as though he were trying to swallow her whole. Her feet were completely off the floor. She flailed wildly, trying to escape or at least to kick the overly affectionate fish.

Finally she managed to get a foot on Noonsa’s body and pull her head out. “Faugh, the smell!” she cried, nearly sick.

Noonsa clasped his hands and gazed at her with adoration on his blushing face. She kicked him straight into Hannya and Hyottoko.

“That hurt!” Hannya yelped.

“Just shut up!” she yelled. “What kind of way is that to treat a girl, you gangling, knock-need, third-rate mahoutsukai of a jealousy demon!”

Hannya seethed with wrath. “Third-rate! Why you… NOBODY CALLS ME THAT!”

“Whoa, Hannya! Take it easy, will you?” Hyottoko caught his companion and restrained him.

“Ooh, it’s too late for that!” Hannya raged. “I’m gonna show her hell!”

“I’d like to see you try!” Kaoru sneered.

Hannya stuffed a gag into her mouth. “That’s enough out of you! Now get ready! Little runt!”

“Hmm?” It was all she could say through the gag. She’d been expecting a beating, torture… but weak insults?

“Ugly! Flat chest! Shrew! Saucer-eyed egomaniac!” Hannya pranced around her, yelling insults. “Is that really your nose? And what’s with your hair?!”

“Those are really low blows, Beshimi!” Hyottoko exclaimed to his companion.

Aoshi sweatdropped.

“If I’m third-rate, then you’re FIFTH-rate!” Hannya continued to screech. The night echoed with his manic laughter.

Mou, I’ve heard worse from Yahiko! Kaoru thought.

The people in the nearest village were too far away to hear Hannya’s hysterical mirth. They stood about in little groups, talking over the day’s uneventful happenings. One girl in a white kimono and blue hakama was talking with some friends near the inn. Straight black hair fell past her shoulders, and she carried a bokken in her right hand.

“Kaoru-dono!” Kenshin exclaimed in relief.

The girl turned. “Who?” It wasn’t Kaoru; this girl was taller and a little stockier, her face not so delicate, though she too was obviously a kenjutsu-ka.

“Jeez, Kenshin, that one’s built like a girl!” Yahiko jeered, outlining a buxom silhouette with his hands to make sure the rurouni got the point.

“PERVERT!” the girl shrieked. “Divine punishment!” She struck the earth with her bokken; the shockwave blew Kenshin and Yahiko to the opposite end of the village.

“Oh, Motoko-sempai, you’re so amazing!” the swordswoman’s friends gushed.

“Ororororo…”

They tried the inn next. Kenshin sat down at the bar and pulled a folded paper out of his sleeve. “Bartender, have you seen this girl around here?”

The bartender peered at the drawing. “Are you kidding? I don’t know any mazoku.”

“Oro? Mazoku?” The picture was a crudely-drawn sketch of a snarling youkai – whose clothing and hair resembled Kaoru’s – beating up a child. Kenshin raised a hand to his head in embarrassment. “Yare yare, she does look a little excited, that she does.”

“Hey, calm down,” said the bartender. “Drink this and you’ll feel better.” He handed Kenshin a glass of milk.

“Oro… it’s strange, that it is… where could Kaoru-dono have gone?”

“Aoshi zapped us with that Flare Arrow thing,” Yahiko reminded him, “then we had our hands full with those other guys, and Kaoru took off runnin’ with Aoshi after her. Next thing there was that bright light, and that Hyottoko guy said it was a signal from Aoshi and there wasn’t any point goin’ after us no more, and he and that scarred creep – Shikijou – took off. But how come they just ran off like that?”

Kenshin’s eyes narrowed. “They’ve captured Kaoru-dono, that they have!”

“But where would they take her, Kenshin?”

Shikijou, the scarred warrior, dozed at the door of the abandoned temple. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. Was it a dream, or had he heard – there it was again, the chime of rings on a priest’s staff! His hand went to the hilt of his massive blade… then he slumped back against the door, sound asleep.

Inside the temple, Aoshi Shinomori tossed restlessly in a vain attempt to escape a nightmare made all the worse by its familiarity. In the dream he was younger, and fully human. He was practicing alone in the forest, his long hair bound in a high ponytail that flowed gracefully in the wind of his deadly dance. His twin blades wove nets of light around him. I want to be strong. Strong! Strong!

He heard a metallic clash and looked up. Outlined in fiery scarlet light, swathed in red, hidden by bandages, a figure stood before him – Shishio the Red Priest! He approached in silence, and his blood-colored robe became tentacles that twined around Aoshi’s limbs. Their touch was fire, was ice, was agony. The priest laughed and struck the ground with his staff, making the rings chime. Aoshi screamed in agony as he felt, seemingly cell by cell, his warm flesh transform to chill marble. He woke screaming, and stared at his stone-tipped fingers in renewed horror. “Damn you, Shishio,” he whispered.

In the central chamber, Hannya, Hyottoko and Beshimi all slept. Kaoru also dozed, hanging limply from the ceiling beams. “Shut up, you tub of…” she muttered in her dream. Suddenly she snapped awake – and found Aoshi standing right behind her!

“Be quiet!” the marble man hissed. He drew his kodachi and cut her free. Caught off balance, she fell to the stone floor.

“Why?” she asked. She stood up, simpered. “You must have fallen for your lovely captive, right?” He stared at her, impassive as a statue. “Or… maybe not.”

“Do you want to escape or not?” he asked.

“Huh? Oh, sure! I’m escaping! I’m escaping!” She followed Aoshi, running until they got deep into the forest, and then subsiding to a swift walk. “So where are we going?”

Aoshi didn’t answer.

“Well, what are you planning to do with me?” she persisted.

Again, stony silence.

“I bet you’re leading me into another trap, right? Well, whatever. Better than hanging around back there.”

That time he did reply. “You may take that statement back before long.”

He’s putting me on, she thought.

They stopped by the shore of the lake so that Kaoru could drink while Aoshi stood guard. “I feel alive again! A hundred times better!” she exclaimed. “How about you, Aoshi?”

“I’m fine. If you’re finished, we can go.” He was nervously alert, glancing around at the slightest sound from an insect or a night bird.

He’s scared, she thought. A powerful fighter like him… I wonder why.

He noticed her looking at him. “You find my face that freakish?” he asked in a quietly bitter tone.

Kaoru waved her hands in embarrassed denial. “Oh no! I didn’t mean anything!”

“This face is not mine by choice. Stop staring!” He pulled up the high yellow collar of his trenchcoat, hiding most of his marble features.

Out in the middle of the lake, a large fish surfaced and watched Kaoru with hungry, lustful eyes. Silently, swiftly, Noonsa the fish-man swam toward his quarry.

Aoshi sensed something and turned – but all he saw were innocent ripples spreading in the moonlight… and that was all he saw. Kaoru was gone!

Kaoru Kamiya was far below the lake’s surface, her scream silenced by the water as Noonsa dove for the bottom, his human hand locked tight around her slender ankle.

With her free foot she kicked him as hard as she could. He flew away from her.

The fish-man recovered quickly. “Cutting out on me, huh? I don’t like that!”

She had no time to wonder how he managed to talk under water. Oh no, this guy’s going to be tough!

“Well then, I’ll fight you!” Noonsa exclaimed and raced toward her along the bottom, his arms waving. She vaulted over his back. He couldn’t stop in time and rammed into a boulder.

Aoshi stared out at the patch of ripples where Kaoru had vanished. Such a bother…

Ray Wing!

A bubble of magical force surrounded him. He floated out over the lake. The bubble’s magic created a vortex that began to bore its way through the water to the lake bottom.

Kaoru watched Noonsa try to pull his head out of the rock. Now’s my chance. She shot toward the surface. Noonsa yanked his head free just in time to see his prey disappearing. He slammed into her, then went on and ran headfirst into the bottom. Winded by the impact, she drifted downward as well. Damn! she thought. I’ve got my hands full fighting this guy. I can’t hold my breath forever!

The enraged fish-man fired spines off in all directions. Kaoru took cover behind a rock, so none of them hit her, but… I can’t swim out with all this going on! I need air! Then she saw the magical bubble behind her. Aoshi! The bubble covered her; she gulped a badly-needed breath. “This air tastes good! Thank you, Aoshi!”

“I’m only doing this until I recover the statue,” he replied. “Until then, I can’t let you die.”

“Whatever,” she sighed.

Noonsa recovered from his last attack and looked around for his prey.

“I’ll settle this,” Aoshi told her. “Got that?”

The enraged fish-man charged toward them, shooting spines that bounced harmlessly off the bubble’s surface. Aoshi and Kaoru stepped back outside the sphere as Noonsa entered it. With the fish-man inside, Aoshi laid his hand on the outside of the bubble.

Fireball!

The air inside the bubble ignited.

The bubble glowed like an underwater sun, then split open. Brilliant light shone up through the water for a moment. Then Noonsa’s lifeless, roasted body floated to the surface.

Kaoru and Aoshi once again stood on the shore. She gazed at the impassive marble profile. He took care of Noonsa… but I still can’t trust him 100%. She continued her thought as they ran through the forest. Taking out his own guys and going after the treasure himself… it could just be a plan to get me to trust him… but still… she followed Aoshi in a mad leap over a precipice and half flew, half slid down a steep hillside, landing in a graceless heap at the bottom.

“If Noonsa came after us, I imagine the others did as well,” Aoshi pointed out. “We can’t lag about.”

“Mou, what’s with you?” she muttered. “You’re doing all this to get the statue, right?”

“Aa.”

“So until then you play bodyguard for me, right?”

“I suppose you could look at it that way.”

“Glad to have you, Aoshi!” She clapped him on the shoulder. It was like slapping stone. “Ow, that’s hard!” She shook her smarting hand.

“You’re a very strange girl,” he said with a little smile.

“Okay! And let’s see you cheer up! Let’s go!” She started to march ahead, but stopped when she saw that Aoshi wasn’t following. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He was staring at something in front of them.

A red glow blocked their path. Inside the glow stood a figure – swathed in bandages, robed in scarlet and carrying a great ringed staff. “Shishio the Red Priest?!”

Aoshi’s hands went to his weapons. The rings on the staff chimed, and the clearing echoed with the Red Priest’s laughter.

NOTES, EXPLANATIONS ETC.

The girl that Kenshin mistakes for Kaoru is actually Motoko from Love Hina.